I’ll start this one out by leveling with you: I did not hate
this movie, but I’m one of the few people out there that didn’t love it.
Truthfully, I went in with a little bit of a sour taste in my mouth because of
an interview I read in Entertainment Weekly in which Joss Whedon and Drew
Goddard essentially did the thing I hate most in this WORLD, which is call the
“SAW” franchise “torture porn” and then proceed to say that they wanted to
write something different and better. I can only assume they haven’t even
bothered to watch every installment of the franchise, but more on that in
another blog post that I’m working on that’s all about “SAW” and nothing else.
Considering the fact that practically every horror fan I know had RAVED about
this movie and told me I HAD to see it, I tried to watch it with an open mind
despite my fangirl anger.
And really, it played out like any other horror movie would.
I mean, I GET it. I understand why it’s supposedly clever and groundbreaking
and why so many people love it. “This movie twists the horror genre around and
exposes it!” etc. etc. Most people have said that it’s supposed to be a sort of
love letter to the genre. My personal opinion, though, which I’m fully aware
will not be popular, is a different one. I kind of got the impression that it
was making fun of horror. As in, “Hey, look how stupid these movies actually
are, that all you guys like so much.” Here’s WHY the main characters act so
stupid, here’s why they eventually get what they deserve. We imagined an
explanation and it’s funny, right?
The references to other classic horror movies are definitely
there, like all the monsters listed on that board that COULD have been chosen.
I’m not ruling out the possibility that the intentions here were good ones. And
yes, the last twenty minutes or so were delightfully bloody. I did enjoy a
couple of the death scenes specifically because they certainly aren’t something
you’d see every day! But the overall reasoning behind what was happening just
seemed a little too grandiose for me to the point of just being dumb. And the
stoner was annoying. (Sorry, I know he’s everyone’s favorite.)
It was kinda cool to see Chris Helmsworth in a role other
than Thor, even if there wasn’t much to the character. (Typical high school
jock, etc.) Later in the movie when something unpleasant happened to him, it
was kind of fun to shout “Loki’d!” at the screen. And Kristen Connolly was
convincingly sympathetic and likable. But why did the slutty blonde character
look like she was in her late 30s? (Was that the point/joke? Since she was so
desperate to dye her hair? Just wondering.)
An English writer named Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch apparently once
said in a literary speech to “Murder your darlings.” I think that Joss Whedon
might secretly have this quote tattooed somewhere on his body, because none of
his characters are safe, ever. I suppose no one’s really safe in a horror
movie, but he has a definite, morbid track record with everything he’s done
that I’ve seen. Kind of masochistic for someone who “detests torture porn” and
thinks the horror genre has “devolved.” Just saying.
In conclusion, there were a few cool moments but this movie
pats itself on the back WAY too hard. It’s not something I’d personally revisit
again. 1 and 1/2 out of 5 Pints of Blood.
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