Factual Fact #1: This film was made by Spyglass Entertainment AND Ben Stiller’s production company, Red Hour films, meaning it was partially produced by Ben Stiller! (It is NOT a comedy, nor is it a horror comedy. At all.)
Factual Fact #2: This film is based on a book that I have not read, but would like to at some point. I don’t know how the adaptation compares to the source material.
I had low expectations for this movie going in. All I knew was, it had something to do with killer plants, and Jena Malone was in the cast, and she’s cool because she always chooses weird roles and she was Gretchen in “Donnie Darko” and that movie pretty much rules always. But guess what? I LOVED THIS MOVIE, you guys. I’m going to start my review out by saying it gets 5 out of 5 pints of blood. That is the most possible pints!
In the great tradition of horror movies that confirm young Americans should never venture outside the borders of the United States for any reason whatsoever, this film starts out with two couples taking a fun vacation to Mexico. (What could possibly go wrong with that, right?) Well, if you meet someone there who says his brother is missing and he’s looking for someone to help him find the guy, follow the second rule and DO NOT be a good Samaritan. (So we’ve got two rules so far: Do not go to other countries and do not be nice to people you don’t know.) I should probably mention that what happens to the characters is not in any way the guy’s fault. It’s not like he purposefully leads them into danger; he’s just trying to find his bro. But STILL. Come on, guys! Just say, “Tough break, man.” And then go out for some authentic margaritas.
Anyways. Cut to: Some Mayan ruins. Lots of people visit stuff like this every day in real life because they want to “broaden their cultural horizons” or just see some shit that they haven’t seen before because it doesn’t exist in America and it’s all historical and junk. But if someone has gone missing and it could potentially be linked to said Mayan ruins, that means something about this place is FUCKED UP. And booooyyyyyy is it! I am going to try not to spoil the good stuff in this movie but at least hint at some things because I liked it SO much that I really want people to watch it. There’s a lot more to it than just dangerous greenery.
Okay, so first of all, you have the element of utter terror these people and their new friend are experiencing once they end up TRAPPED at the top of the ruins by a group of local villagers with GUNS who will not let them leave. If they try to set foot off of the thing, they will get SHOT DEAD. And they have no clue why. There’s a language barrier, so there’s no way to communicate what the fuck is happening. It’s all a nightmarish descent downhill from there.
“The Ruins” gets very unnerving very quickly and it’s extremely bloody. (Also, NOT for the squeamish.) The gore factor is delightful and much higher than I expected. The way the “man eating vines” are used as far as how they choose to attack people is NOT monster movie-ish at all, but rather very disturbing and gross. The makeup and special effects are AWESOME. (I absolutely ADORE “Little Shop of Horrors,” but I assure you that you will not see a huge, foam rubber Venus Flytrap chomping down on anyone.)
Quick PSA:
Do you have issues with things crawling around UNDERNEATH a person’s skin? Do not watch this movie.
Do you have issues with amateur surgery done without the proper tools or anesthetic and seeing EVERYTHING, and I do mean EVERYTHING? Do not watch this movie.
Do you have issues with very grim, disturbing and sad things happening to people? Do not—You get the point.
The only downsides, in my opinion:
- Alright. There’s something that happens that I think the screenwriter intended to come across as creative and creepy. (“OH! This is NEW!”) But it doesn’t. It’s probably one of the dumbest things I’ve seen in a horror movie in a while, and it briefly took me out of the film completely. I don’t want to say exactly what it is because again, I want EVERYONE to watch “The Ruins” and I don’t want to jeopardize the chances of that happening. But I will say that it involves flowers. And it’s really fucking dumb. You’re gonna be like, “What?! Are you kidding me with this shit? That is the dumbest thing ever!” But GUYS, please stick with the movie because I PROMISE you it just keeps getting better and better after that little hiccup. The movie just gets increasingly screwed up and wonderful and bloody and you’re going to forget all about the ridiculousness that just happened.
- Some of the characters’ decisions and general behavior towards others are questionable. Then again, if I personally think a character is an asshole I then believe that every single thing that person does is the wrong move. I get attached to certain people and defensive, etc.
Overall, this movie is awesome. Before I watched it I wasn’t sure if I would even like it at all and I LOVED it. Even the ending is great. (A tad predictable, yes, but I still enjoyed it.) If you’re going to watch the dvd, get the Unrated Cut! That’s the one I watched. According to the most reliable source of all sources, the INTERNET, there are two other endings: The theatrical one, which isn’t very different from the one I saw but it’s more hopeful, which in this case doesn’t really fit the movie, and an ending that from my understanding wasn’t used anywhere and is VERY Hollywood friendly and like too many other things I’ve seen before, so I’m glad that one didn’t come into play. (Oh, and it also involves that dumb thing that I hated! Boo!) The point is, the best ending is on the Unrated Cut, which I think most horror fans would watch anyway because we all love our films Unrated. AmIright?
Again, 5 out of 5 Pints of Blood.
No comments:
Post a Comment