Once you finish your childish fit of laughing over the title, (it took ME a little while), this movie might be worth a watch in your Netflix Instant Queue. It was apparently SUPPOSED to be a nationwide theatrical release, but didn’t make it. I’m not sure why; it isn’t terrible. It’s just…weird.
Thora Birch is definitely a plus. She brings a lot to the role of Liz, the main character you feel sorry for and identify with at first, but then waver on when you realize you don’t know if you can actually trust her. The movie takes place at a private school in the UK and is sort of split into two halves, as you’re told two different versions of what has transpired. One by Liz, who survived a terrible ordeal, and another by her supposed best friend Martyn, who may or not be partially responsible for said ordeal.
The basic, not-TOO-spoilery rundown of the barebones plot is this: Liz, (Thora Birch), is an unpopular girl in a school ruled by popular girls. (Sound familiar?) She has somehow stumbled upon this super weird, abandoned underground bomb shelter type thing near the campus that appears to lock from the outside but is huge enough for a large group of people to comfortably inhabit, and she is desperate to spend time with this campus superstar guy named Mike who she’s convinced she’s in love with. SO, Liz coerces Mike, his other hotshot guy friend Geoff, and queen bitch popular girl Frankie (played by Kiera Knightley in what was apparently her first movie role), into ditching a class trip and instead spending a night LOCKED inside this dusty, cold underground hole type thing drinking and debauching. And yeah, since it locks from the OUTSIDE, Martyn is supposed to come let them out the next morning. (Brilliant plan, right?)
Of course, it doesn’t go as Liz had hoped. Martyn doesn’t show up. The door won’t open. The interesting thing about the movie is, are there monsters in there with them? Nope. Ghosts? Nope. There’s just some fucked up shit that happens as a result of four people being trapped in a dark space together for days and days. And then, Liz is the only survivor, and the second half of the movie is a retelling of the same events but from Martyn’s perspective. Who is telling you the truth? It was this whole aspect of the movie that I found interesting.
The downside: You DO have to wait until the last half hour or so of the movie to actually see the awful truth and experience the terrible fates of the characters. The first half of it is a bit slow. Also, even though stranger things have happened, the premise itself is a tiny bit difficult to believe. There’s scarcely a less appealing place to hang out and party than the dirty prison of a bomb shelter these kids choose. They go into it with the belief that the thing locks from the outside, and they’re okay with it. (Really?) Also, once you find out one of the main character’s TRUE motive’s his/her choices come across as blatantly idiotic. Even if you find yourself siding with this character, you may end up saying out loud, “You DO realize that if you had done ________ you could have avoided _________, right?” Or maybe I only participate so actively because I watch these movies alone, and I criticize people very harshly sometimes.
However, as I mentioned earlier, Thora Birch does do a great job with Liz, who’s pretty complex right up to the end. You’re unsure about her the entire time, and she does a great bit of acting with a very unhinged monologue once the shit starts to hit the fan. This movie has some pretty good “What the fuck are these crazy people doing?” moments, and I liked that they actually WERE done by people rather than spirits or vampires or the usual horror fodder. That sort of thing is difficult to pull off. Also, the actor who plays Mike, the love interest, looks like he could have played a young Superman had “Smallville” been cast differently. Very blue eyes, ladies! BE WARNED, though, there is a random shower scene midway through the movie with some full frontal gratuitous peen. (And no, it’s not Mike’s.)
I give this movie Three out of Five pints of blood, for the originality of the concept and the level of twisted achieved by both the ending and the a certain character’s true motives. Worth a watch if you’re bored and you have Netflix.
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